Church report back and perceived call testified to: mid June 2010

Good morning brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers- for that is how I
regard you, as we are all family and of the household of God.
I have only a few minutes so will try to be comprehensive and brief.
When I was converted I had a basic belief that all Christians belong to God,
and He ordinarily then sends them into full-time ministry- particularly into
the mission field.
As a result, I was expectant and resigned to this from the start.
About two years ago I wrote to the Elders mentioning a willingness to even
become a missionary if that be God's will for my life.
God's will, and His choosing, His calling was always supreme in my
understanding. I've never wanted to engineer or manipulate my own way
through the flesh or will of my own.
The Lord is always at work in our lives, yet I have noticed a particular
acceleration of sanctification over the last year or so where the Lord has
not left one stone un-turned as well as a long-desired increase in
fruitfulness of life and ministry. A revived desire to serve the Lord more
fully and fruitfully began to grow in my heart.
Having recently read Hudson Taylor's biography, I was greatly inspired and
encouraged and said to the Lord that I would be delighted to be in that kind
of ministry. A short while before going to Malawi whilst in prayer one day I
also said to the Lord that if the missionary, K M.r invited me to
stay, I would, and even was prepared not to return with the team but to stay
on in Malawi. (this I say as a demonstration of the degree of preparedness
the Lord had brought me to)
However, whilst on the trip in Malawi, I was mostly overcome with feelings
of unworthiness and bewilderment as to why I was even on the team. I felt
towards the end that I just wanted to go home because I didn't deserve to be
with this team on this trip. On the last night I was greatly surprised when
Keith Moller pulled me aside and with any encouraging words invited me to
join him in Malawi, and he prayed with me. My perspective took a radical
shift and a deep sense of honour, gratitude and soberness pervaded me. A
strong peace and resignation to His will ensued and although feelings have
waxed and waned, the expression that best describes how I feel is that I
have been 'quieted by His love'.
In more recent times the temptation came, what if this is just an escape
from life here?
Currently, I am so happy in ministry and church and work prospects are
promising, that it will certainly be very sad to leave.
But not my will, but Gods be done.
I don't trust my feelings but God in is Sovereign goodness and plan and wait
on Him for the unveiling of that plan in my life.
Dave.